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Space Forum / Shuttle / November 2006



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Does the space shuttle have any weapons???

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Ed Zagmoon - 22 Nov 2006 03:45 GMT
Just in case UFOs attack, dangerous aliens from the Planet X.

Can the space shuttle defend itself or will the aliens destroy the
shuttle and eat all the astronauts???
George - 22 Nov 2006 04:06 GMT
> Just in case UFOs attack, dangerous aliens from the Planet X.
>
> Can the space shuttle defend itself or will the aliens destroy the
> shuttle and eat all the astronauts???

Yes.  It has a fecal laser mounted on the side.  Cheap and easy to use.
:-)

George
Steen Eiler Jørgensen - 22 Nov 2006 08:46 GMT
> Yes.  It has a fecal laser mounted on the side.  Cheap and easy to
> use. :-)

Right. Scares the sh*t out of 'em ;-)

/steen
George - 22 Nov 2006 14:15 GMT
>> Yes.  It has a fecal laser mounted on the side.  Cheap and easy to
>> use. :-)
>
> Right. Scares the sh*t out of 'em ;-)
>
> /steen

Just aim and flush.

George
Al  G - 22 Nov 2006 17:20 GMT
ROTFLMAO

Damn George, you know how hard it is to get coffee out of a keyboard and off
the screen? Warn me next time.

Al  G

>> Just in case UFOs attack, dangerous aliens from the Planet X.
>>
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>
> George
George - 22 Nov 2006 18:05 GMT
> ROTFLMAO
>
> Damn George, you know how hard it is to get coffee out of a keyboard and
> off the screen? Warn me next time.
>
> Al  G

Sorry.  I should have engaged the safety, first (make a note - never
discharge a fecal laser in a crowded newgroup).  Check!

George

>>> Just in case UFOs attack, dangerous aliens from the Planet X.
>>>
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>>
>> George
boman - 22 Nov 2006 18:33 GMT
> Sorry.  I should have engaged the safety, first (make a note - never
> discharge a fecal laser in a crowded newgroup).  Check!
>
> George

Actually, the fecal laser was once used to direct a fecal bomb on
Havana. According to Mike Mullane's book Riding Rockets, the commander
on STS-27 (IIRC) waited until they were over Cuba to, uh, do his
business.
George - 22 Nov 2006 19:40 GMT
>> Sorry.  I should have engaged the safety, first (make a note - never
>> discharge a fecal laser in a crowded newgroup).  Check!
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> on STS-27 (IIRC) waited until they were over Cuba to, uh, do his
> business.

That would explain Castro's current health problems.  What a moving
experience it must have been.

George
pierce - 22 Nov 2006 08:58 GMT
> Just in case UFOs attack, dangerous aliens from the Planet X.
>
> Can the space shuttle defend itself or will the aliens destroy the
> shuttle and eat all the astronauts???

Oh, yeah, you can see the photon torpedos tubes in the shuttle nose. Badly,
they have no reloads, so it willl be difficult to escape from a complete
squadron of Klingon Bird of Prey
Look here
http://spaceflight.nasa.gov/gallery/images/shuttle/sts-121/hires/iss013e48787.jpg
Z 1 Y 0 N 3 X - 22 Nov 2006 09:03 GMT
But seriously, if there was some UFO or something hurdling towards it,
and the only way to stop it was to blast through it, would the shuttle
have any sort of weapon or something to do it? Lets just pretend the
thrusters failed so it couldn't move :D
Paul F. Dietz - 22 Nov 2006 15:31 GMT
> But seriously, if there was some UFO or something hurdling towards it,

Do you often write such blatant contradictions?

    Paul
John Doe - 22 Nov 2006 12:26 GMT
>> Can the space shuttle defend itself or will the aliens destroy the
>> shuttle and eat all the astronauts???

There is only one shuttle left that has laser weapoons on it. It was the
one used by James Bond when he escaped from that large Drax Industries
space station and destroyed the bio-weapons of mass destruction on their
way to exterminate humanity and he saved the world. Last time that shuttle
was seen was when it was still on orbit and James Bond turned off the
camera because he was busy with the bond girl in the aft cabin. So it is
not clear where it landed and what happened to it. But it is not in NASA's
fleet of shuttles.
Brian Gaff - 22 Nov 2006 09:29 GMT
No self respecting alien would come near the shuttle, think of all that junk
that falls off....:-)

Brian

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Brian Gaff....Note, this account does not accept Bcc: email.
graphics are great, but the blind can't hear them
Email: briang1@blueyonder.co.uk
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

> Just in case UFOs attack, dangerous aliens from the Planet X.
>
> Can the space shuttle defend itself or will the aliens destroy the
> shuttle and eat all the astronauts???
mmaker@my-deja.com - 22 Nov 2006 15:55 GMT
> Just in case UFOs attack, dangerous aliens from the Planet X.

Fortunately aliens are such bad pilots (remember, there are six or
seven crash sites at Roswell, for example), that they wouldn't get
close to the shuttle before they crashed.

   Mark
George Orwell - 22 Nov 2006 23:15 GMT
In all seriousness, there is no reason why the shuttle commander shouldn't
keep a revolver as a function of his authority.  Its routine in Hollywood
space operas ever since "Rocketship X-M."
 
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