Space Forum / Shuttle / August 2006

Look below the picture of the whale's tail and click on the Mac version.  It
is a very basic MPEG1 that your Linux viewer should be able to read.  If it
doesn't work, please let me know.

Like I said, it was right around that time frame, give or take a year. The
low level manager type who sent the e-mail was not in a position to hire,
fire, or send around the test. His comment was more joking and/or possibly
informative as to his personal opinion on what the he thought about the
test. I have no doubt he probably choose not to take it.

But to me, I had already taken it and probably would have even if I had
read his comment e-mail first, but I'm not absolutely positive about that.
The personality type was either ENTp or ENTj. I remembered the whole
incident because I resembled that type. I was only one question away from
the type he was wanting to fire and it was one of those question that
depends on what kind of day your having as to how you answer it. It left
me wondering.

Yeah, you got their attention alright, and I don't doubt there may have
been some mad mobbing going on wrt you. I don't even know you and you've
impacted my life, wondering about intentions of their innocent little
test. You might consider having a little empathy for others and consider
how your actions might affect other "normal" type people.

I've read a lot of what you've had to say on your web site, and quite
frankly don't know exactly what to say about it. But what the heck, here
are my thoughts on it.

First, you should seriously consider writing the NASA EAP woman an apology
letter. The one you accused of wanting to wipe your memory. Make it
sincere and without anything that could be considered innuendo. Here comes
the empathy part, after you finish writing it, don't send it. I have no
doubts that she would rather have you totally forget and loose all
memories of her. She probably never wants to hear, see, or think about you
again and is trying to wipe her own memories clean wrt you. The letter is
more for your benefit than hers.

Second, wrt Memory wiping. If you read your own links wrt to this drug
induced chamber of horrors type treatment you'll see that psychiatrist are
considering it as a treatment for post traumatic stress syndrome. To get
people to forget the trauma, and everything else. So, I don't really know
what your trying to say. Are you bipolar? Were you traumatized? Exactly
what are you trying to say about your 1999 traumatic experience? I'm not
really wanting an answer, but it's just something you might think about.
And, give your parents a hug every time you do, for not allowing it. They
were the ones in charge of your treatment, not NASA, when you weren't
capable of it. When you are capable of it, your the one in charge of your
physical and psychological wellbeing and treatment.

Third, any beef you have wrt Memory wiping is with Devereaux and their
Doctor who from all appearances should have been a patient instead of in
charge of patients. It appears from how she filled out the paperwork, she
thought she was you, didn't know who you were, didn't know the time or
date, couldn't follow instructions and had no idea were she was other than
the state of Texas. You did the right thing getting out of there and going
someplace else for treatment. At that point you had regain control of your
treatment from your parents. Give them another hug.

Fourth, after your traumatic experience in 1999 you have no one to blame
but yourself for going back to NASA and putting yourself back in the exact
stressful situation that contributed to the traumatic experience in the
first place. After all those bad managers at NASA received you e-mail
urging them to resign, you should have noticed that none of them did, and
few did after the Columbia Disaster. It's not considered whistle blowing
to state what is blatantly obvious, that after receiving an e-mail urging
them to resign they might actually want to fire you or even have all your
memories of them erased. Good thing your parents and you were in charge of
your treatment.

Fifth, it really appears to me that you recently did everything you could
to get terminated from NASA. Subconsciously removing yourself from a very
stressful situation, by reliving your 1999 traumatic experience, over,
and over, and over again. All the footnotes in the world aren't going to
change it. If you want a look at were this path is taking you, I'd suggest
getting a copy of John Maxson's book, "The Betrayal  Of Mission 51-L"
(Copyright 2000 ISBN 0-9704036-0-7), start with the chapters nearest the
dedication. Your book might end up looking similar. If you want to see
just how bad mad mobbing can get, do some googling of this group
sci.space.shuttle and the mobbing that took place here wrt John Maxson. I
believe John has you beat by a long shot, and is doing much better now
that the mad mobbing has quit. He might even still be posting here from
time to time. Hi John.

Finally, only you can decide what your future holds. You can't change the
past but you can change the future.

Good luck,